There’s something funny about this episode being number 31 while I’m also turning 31. It felt fitting to pause and reflect on everything year 30 taught me because honestly… this past year changed me in ways I never expected.

I remember being in my mid-20s and thinking 30 sounded old. Dramatic, I know. But now that I’m here, I can confidently say that year 30 was one of the most expansive, healing, clarifying, emotional, and empowering years of my life.

This wasn’t the year I “figured everything out.” Far from it.

But it was the year I started trusting myself more deeply. The year I stopped forcing things that weren’t aligned. The year I realized success feels very different when you build your life and business around what actually supports you.

So today, I want to share some of the biggest lessons I learned during year 30.

1. Follow What Lights You Up

This was probably the biggest lesson of the year.

The things that are meant for you will energize you.

That doesn’t mean every part of business will feel exciting all the time, but overall, the right things create momentum instead of constant exhaustion.

I started noticing this everywhere:

• Certain clients energized me
• Certain conversations energized me
• Creating trainings energized me
• Building systems energized me

Meanwhile, other things completely drained me.

Your energy is constantly giving you information if you’re willing to listen to it.

I noticed this especially while building the Integrator Accelerator. I could spend hours creating trainings and mapping ideas, and instead of feeling depleted, I felt more energized afterward.

That’s alignment.

2. Expansion vs. Contraction Is a Powerful Decision-Making Tool

One of the most valuable things I learned this year came from a coaching program called The Root with Betsy Herden.

Whenever I’m making a decision now, I ask myself:

Does this feel expansive or contractive?

Because your body often knows before your mind does.

This applies to:

• Clients
• Opportunities
• Collaborations
• Investments
• Relationships
• Environments
• Offers

There were multiple moments this year where something looked “good on paper,” but my body felt heavy, tight, or contracted.

Every single time I ignored that feeling, there was a lesson waiting for me.

Aligned opportunities usually felt expansive, grounded, light, and open — even if they were still uncomfortable or challenging.

Learning to trust that changed everything.

3. Success Is 80% Inner Work & 20% Strategy

For years, I believed success came from:

• Better systems
• Better strategy
• Better content
• Better offers
• Better execution

And while strategy matters, year 30 taught me that your inner world impacts everything.

Your:

• Confidence
• Nervous system
• Emotional regulation
• Self-worth
• Identity
• Beliefs

…all affect your results.

You can have the best strategy in the world, but if you don’t believe you’re capable of holding the results you want, you’ll unconsciously sabotage them.

A huge part of my growth this year came from:

• Learning to trust myself
• Stopping over-proving
• Feeling safe being seen
• Stopping self-abandonment
• Regulating my nervous system

That changed more than any business tactic ever did.

4. Play Is Actually a Strategy

This was a major mindset shift for me.

I spent a lot of years pushing, grinding, and constantly trying to prove myself. But this year taught me that joy and play are not distractions from success.

They support success.

Traveling.
Laughing.
Resting.
Being present.
Experiencing life.

Those things matter.

Some of my best ideas came when I stopped forcing them.

I’m actually writing this right before leaving for a solo trip to Santa Barbara, and even booking the trip felt uncomfortable at first. I questioned it. I wondered if I “should” spend the money or take the time away.

But I’ve learned to trust those nudges now.

Sometimes the most aligned thing you can do is create space for yourself.

5. Put Yourself Before Your Clients

This one might feel controversial in the service provider world, but I stand by it.

You cannot build a sustainable business while constantly abandoning yourself for everyone else.

As behind-the-scenes leaders, we naturally care deeply. We want to help. We want to support people.

But year 30 taught me that my business also has to support me.

That meant:

• Better boundaries
• Energy protection
• More aligned clients
• Realistic capacity
• Building my business around my life instead of the other way around

Because when you put yourself first, you show up better for everyone else too.

Watch on YouTube

6. Simplicity Changes Everything

This year, I simplified:

• My offers
• My messaging
• My business model
• My schedule
• My priorities

And honestly?

Things became clearer, easier, and more profitable.

We’re often taught that growth means adding more:

• Offers
• Content
• Complexity
• Clients

But I’ve learned that simplicity scales.

Clarity scales.

Sometimes growth requires removing things, not adding them.

7. Fewer, Deeper Relationships Matter More

This became another major theme in my business this year.

I stopped focusing so much on trying to reach everyone or build a massive audience and instead focused on:

• Conversations
• Trust
• Long-term relationships
• Depth
• Genuine connection

Ironically, that created better opportunities than trying to constantly chase visibility ever did.

Some of the best clients and collaborations I’ve experienced came through deeper relationships, not bigger audiences.

8. Your Environment Affects Your Energy

This lesson became incredibly clear this year.

Your environment matters more than you realize.

Where you live.
How you work.
The pace of your life.
The energy around you.

All of it impacts your nervous system and creativity.

For example, I used to live on three acres where I was responsible for maintaining everything. It was beautiful, but it also required a tremendous amount of energy.

Now I’m in an apartment where so much is taken care of for me, and I’ve realized how supportive that environment is for this season of life and business.

Sometimes we normalize being overstimulated and overwhelmed because it’s all we know.

But supportive environments allow you to think clearly, create more easily, and feel safer in your body.

That matters.

9. You Already Have the Answers

This lesson was deeply reinforced through the shamanic training I’ve been going through this year.

I spent so much of my life looking outside myself for answers.

But year 30 taught me:

• Your intuition knows
• Your body knows
• Your energy knows

Especially as women, our intuition is incredibly powerful.

The more I trusted myself this year, the more clarity I had.

Not because I suddenly became perfect at decision-making, but because I stopped outsourcing my power.

10. Alignment Creates Momentum Faster Than Force

This might be the biggest lesson of all.

The more I stopped forcing things, the faster things started moving.

Not because I stopped taking action, but because my actions became aligned.

I stopped:

• Overworking to prove myself
• Chasing things that drained me
• Trying to fit into spaces that weren’t meant for me

And instead focused on:

• Alignment
• Intention
• Simplicity
• Sustainability
• Trust

That’s when the biggest shifts started happening.

Final Thoughts

Year 30 taught me that life becomes really beautiful when you stop trying to force yourself into someone else’s definition of success.

When you:

• Trust yourself
• Protect your energy
• Create space for joy
• Choose alignment
• Build a life that actually feels good to live in

Everything changes.

And honestly? If this is what my 30s are going to feel like, I’m very excited for the rest of this era.

If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear which lesson impacted you the most. Feel free to share this post or tag me on social media so we can continue the conversation.

---