Discernment as a leadership skill.

This episode is a personal one. Lately, I’ve been noticing a quiet pressure creeping into my life, one that I know many leaders experience but rarely talk about openly. It’s not the kind of perfection where everything needs to look flawless on the outside. It’s deeper than that.

It’s the perfection that shows up in how I judge myself.
How I lead.
How I parent.
How I show up in my business.
How I rest.
How I take care of my body.

There’s been this underlying belief whispering, “If I want to be the person I’m becoming, I need to do everything at a certain standard.”

And the truth is, that standard keeps moving.

In this episode, we dive into discernment as a leadership skill and how discernment should guide our lives and businesses, not the quest for perfection. 

When Growth Starts to Feel Heavy

Over the last few years, I’ve been on a spiritual and personal growth journey. Part of that journey has been becoming more aware of what I consume, how I live, and the patterns that keep me feeling stuck or heavy.

One example that really brought this to the surface for me recently is alcohol.

Most of us can agree that alcohol isn’t exactly supportive for our bodies or energy, especially as we get older. And still, I genuinely enjoy a glass of red wine or a drink out with friends every now and then.

But somewhere along the way, a belief formed:
If I want to be an evolved version of myself, I need to be fully sober.

And suddenly, it wasn’t just about alcohol.

It became:

• I need to eat perfectly
• I shouldn’t scroll on social media
• I shouldn’t watch Netflix or certain shows
• My kids should eat perfectly and have no screen time
• I should know better
• I should be doing better

Growth stopped feeling expansive and started feeling heavy.

Perfection Isn’t Leadership, Discernment Is

What I realized is this: Leadership is not perfection. Leadership is discernment.

True leadership, whether in your business, your home, or your personal life, is not about rigid rules, moral superiority, or doing everything “right.”

It’s about intention, awareness, knowing why you’re doing something, and recognizing whether a choice supports you or pulls you back into old patterns.

That’s leadership.

Not punishing yourself, not holding yourself to impossible standards, and not proving anything.

The Question Isn’t What You’re Doing, It’s Why

So yes, I will still enjoy a glass of wine from time to time. And no, that doesn’t undo my growth or make me misaligned.

If I’m laughing with a friend and genuinely enjoying myself, that’s aligned.

If I’m watching a show because it brings me joy, that’s aligned.

If I’m on social media consuming content that inspires or educates me, that can be aligned too.

The real question isn’t what you’re doing. It’s why you’re doing it.

One of the most powerful questions I’ve learned to ask myself is this: Am I doing this to dissociate from my life or to rest, enjoy, or decompress?

Those are two very different experiences, and only you can answer that honestly.

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Moderation Is Discernment in Action

Another important shift for me has been around moderation.

It’s okay to scroll for 15 minutes.
It’s okay to enjoy something.

Leadership is having the awareness to stop before it becomes a default or a form of avoidance.

Moderation isn’t weakness. It’s discernment in action.

Awareness Is Growth

Here’s what really matters:

The fact that you’re noticing patterns.
The fact that you’re asking questions.
The fact that you’re reflecting instead of numbing.

That is growth.

You don’t become a better leader by being perfect.
You become a better leader by becoming more aware.

So if you take anything from this, let it be this:

• You don’t need rigid rules to prove your worth
• You don’t need to overhaul your entire life to be aligned
• Growth doesn’t require punishment

If you notice yourself judging, pause and ask why.

Are you avoiding?
Are you dissociating?
Are you resting?
Or are you enjoying?

We’re Not Just Building Businesses, We’re Building Lives

This conversation reflects how I view leadership and the work I do.

Whether you’re a visionary working with me or an integrator inside my program, we’re never just talking about business in isolation. We look at your whole life, how you lead, how you rest, how you make decisions, and how you take care of yourself.

Because we’re not just building businesses… we’re building lives.

And discernment, more than perfection, is one of the most powerful leadership skills you will ever develop.

If this resonated with you and you feel called to explore what support could look like, you’ll find ways to connect with me in the show notes. You’re also always welcome to reach out on Instagram or Facebook.

No pressure. Just connection.

And as always, trust your discernment.